If your partner has conveyed to you that they want to break up, it can be a little confusing and shocking. The initial panic of the breakup revelation is replaced by perplexity, as well as unpleasant feelings caused by a broken heart.

Perhaps you anticipated it, or perhaps it came as a surprise. It hurts, regardless of your situation. Soon you’ll be alone and have time to consider your options, but for now, all you need to know is how to get through the next ten minutes.

Here are a few ways to respond to a breakup

1. Their decision should be respected

When they let you know that they no longer wish to be a part of your life, respect them. Let them leave. Don’t grovel or beg them to take you back or reconsider their decision.

2. Make no attempt to persuade them to remain with you

You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do. Trying to persuade them to stay in the relationship is not the best idea. Even if the sudden split affected you badly, never show them your vulnerability.

3. Don’t lose your cool

Do not become enraged or defensive. Ask if you can resume the talk later if you’re becoming too emotional and can’t think straight or just want to scream at them. Consider being the type of person they’ll miss when they leave – some tears are natural, but yelling or screaming at them, or insulting them, is unlikely to make you look good.

4. Thank them if possible

You’re undoubtedly hurt and furious right now, so finding a silver lining may be difficult. But if you can, try to express gratitude for the good times you shared.

5. Forgive

Find forgiveness for them in your heart at some point. It may feel difficult or even impossible right now, but keeping a grudge towards them will only serve to harm you in the long run and prevent you from having pleasant dating experiences.

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