William Shakespeare has said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” But we are all humans. In our relationships, no matter of whatsoever nature, we expect reciprocations or initiatives. Even as parents, we expect our children to obey, to appreciate what we are doing for them, and be there for us as we get older. Friends expect us to be there for them. In business or professional relationships, there is a clear give and take policy.

Having said this, how many actually get what they want out of the people in their lives? Think…

The Marathi movie Natasamrat, that recently released is an excellent example of this imbalance. It speaks about a famous theatre personality who wanted to retire peacefully and in that desire, he wills away all his property and wealth to his children. Upon staying with him, he realizes that things are not how he had dreamt. The children he thought would behave with him in a particular manner suddenly seemed so different and his world changed slowly.

This is very much how life is. We expect that in a given situation will behave in a particular manner and more often than not, these expectations are never met with.

There are two major reasons for this. One is that the way the other person thinks and perceives may not be in the same line as your thought and perception. The other probable reason could be the person concerned does not care for you. Either way there is bound to be disheartenment. While the relationship suffers, you will also feel so much pain in your heart.

So what do we do to keep our minds very happy and fluttering? Simple, expect almost nothing from anyone. This is well said but is that practical? No. Our bonds are based on the expectations of support, trust and love that will strengthen only if reciprocated.

However, the greatest strength lies in our hearts and we are our greatest support. If we engage ourselves in positive activities and positive company, we will have more positivity within us to deal with issues ourselves rather than to lean for support on any one person. Some few important tweaks that will make a huge impact on your life

Always make and keep friends

Continue to make good friends whenever you come across people with whom you can match your wavelength. That way you will always have someone or the other up for you at your time of need reducing too much dependence on any one relation.

Engage in hobbies

Find your own happiness in what you do. That will not only keep you positively occupied but will fill your life with a lot of joy. It will also give you ways to vent your expressions and feelings and alternate propositions to get over any negative thought.

Keep yourself healthy and fit

A healthy body will harbour a very healthy mind. As long as you are fit, you will not easily succumb to negative feelings. You can continue to keep your mind happily engaged.

These are important so that you are strong by yourself. The stronger a personality you are, the lesser you will depend on anyone else for support. The lesser you will look around for assistance and support, the lesser you will be hurt.

We are living in an extremely fast paced world. Here each one has their own routine and is hard pressed for time. Similarly emotions that were precious earlier are not so valued anymore. People want faster gratifications and for much lesser investment of time and emotion.

Similarly we are living in a world where material requirements are eating into the time and leisure. It is becoming very difficult to get time from anyone. In such a world, we must also measure our expectations and vet out whether it is possible for one to deliver what is expected.

The key to remaining smartly engaged in any relationship is therefore to expect less. The relationship will always sail through most smoothly.


Sandhya Parameshwaran