You are married and have been together for many years. And then you find yourself crushing on a co-worker. When we become aware of the fact that we are attracted to someone other than our spouse, it can be unpleasant and distressing. You are not a bad person if you have a crush on a co-worker.

It’s more frequent than you might believe to be attracted to someone else when married. Crushes form in married people for the same reasons they do in the rest of us: they’ve been engaging with someone attractive or intriguing with whom they connect. The truth is that the human psyche is extremely complicated, and we cannot always control our many sensations, emotions, and perceptions.

Here are a few ways to deal with it

1. Recognize and confront your emotions

As distressing as they are, it is critical to confront and accept them in their completeness with as little self-judgment as possible. Don’t feel bad about yourself for experiencing these feelings; remember that all emotions and feelings are a part of the human experience. What is important is how we react when we fall in love with someone new while married.

2. Set proper limits

It’s critical to set appropriate limits with the person you’re drawn to in order to safeguard yourself from doing something you might regret later.

This distance will not only bring much-needed reprieve from the overwhelming sentiments you experience while you are in their presence, but it will also provide a secure area for you to reassemble yourself.

3. Consider your feelings and try to comprehend them

It is possible to look at your feelings objectively when you have completely faced and accepted your feelings. When you’re married yet always want to be with someone else, attempt to figure out why.

4. Self-care

Keeping track of your emotional, physical, and mental well-being is one of the ways to get over a crush when you’re married. Take walks, meditate or practice yoga, write down your thoughts and feelings in a notebook, listen to music, or sit quietly and watch the sunrise over a cup of tea.

This will keep you balanced and clear, preventing you from acting rashly while married or in a relationship and having affections for someone else.

5. Be patient with yourself

It can be a frustrating conflict between the mind and the heart when the feelings we are experiencing are really intense. On the one hand, letting go may seem impossible since you enjoy being with this other person—so you question if you can be friends.

However, you are concerned that this would harm your marriage in the long run. Don’t lose heart—be patient, and you’ll eventually find clarity. Take it easy on yourself until you get there.

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Also Read: Tips to deal with office romance