In the midst of a stressful situation, we all say or do things that, depending on our mood, purposefully or unintentionally injure others. When we come to our senses, we understand we need to apologize for the harm we’ve caused.

Here are a few ways you can settle things with your parents after a fight.

1. After the fight, take a step back and give yourself some time to calm down. It’s tempting to try to figure things out right immediately, but taking your time to collect your ideas is crucial. Cool yourself down and then think of what happened and why it happened.

2. Sincerely apologize to your parents for saying mean things to them in the heat of the moment. Make sure you don’t say anything along the lines of “I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Doing so implies that you are unaware that you have harmed the person. If you use terms like “if,” you’re putting the blame on the other person for being injured, rather than the one who did the wrongdoing.

3. Tell them you’re sorry for what you did, that you recognize it was wrong, and that you care about their feelings. Express your desire to go back in time and modify what you said or did.

4. Request that your parents express their viewpoint, then pay attention and try to comprehend what they’re saying. After they’ve got a chance to speak, calmly explain your viewpoint and feelings. You might both be shocked when you learn about each other’s motivations.

5. Find a common ground and try to reach an agreement on it. You may not always get your way, but you must trust that your parents are looking out for your best interests. However, don’t be hesitant to speak up for yourself, particularly if you believe you’re being treated unfairly.

6. Allow yourself to forgive and forget. It is not a good idea to hold grudges and bring the fight up again the next time things get tense. Hug it out, then do something fun together, like watch a movie, to release any tensions that may have remained.

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