Because of the unsettling emotions they elicit, we may have pieces of ourselves that we have rejected, denied, or hidden away in a hidden nook of our brain. These components may be related to a traumatic event in our history, how we regard a particular element of our life, such as our bodies or careers, or a dysfunctional habit we frequently follow.
Any disavowal we make causes an imbalance, which is the problem. They will act out in even more severe ways to gain our attention since it is in the nature of life to seek balance and integration, so those parts will be acting out in that way like the classic “squeaky wheel” to attract our attention. Additionally, if we are unable to love ourselves, we will search for someone else to do so in the hopes that their love may help our unlovable traits improve or just disappear. Unfortunately, we have the propensity to draw people into our lives who aren’t comfortable with themselves, which leaves us open to further disappointment and heartache.
1. Destroy Your Inner Critic: Many of us battle an inner bully known as the Inner Critic who enjoys tossing unfavorable ideas at us. Every time anything good happens, the Critic comes to life to attack, denigrate, dismiss, and otherwise subdue the experience.
2. Befriend and Nurture All Parts of Yourself – If there are aspects of your history or present that cause you shame, humiliation, guilt, or a sense of inadequacy, treat those aspects of yourself the same way you would a little child who is depressed or afraid: with love, caring, and warmth.
3. Face Your Own Denial — Another crucial component of self-love is being honest with yourself. Think about taking a step back from the turmoil in your own life to examine your relationship history with complete objectivity.
4. Access Healthy Inner Resources — After you have defeated your Inner Critic, you are free to utilize all of the wonderful healthy resources that are there in your inner environment.
Also Read: Love Yourself First: The Magic Trick
