Recognize that adhering to the no-contact rule is more difficult said than done. Here are a few pointers to help you keep your distance.
1. Write yourself a letter.
Write a letter to yourself to read when you’re feeling down. This should contain your reasons for quitting the relationship, as well as why you know you should avoid the person who stopped it for you. This type of letter should serve as a reminder of the consequences of reaching out, as well as motivation to stick to the no-contact rule.
2. Allow yourself to grieve.
Even when it is the correct thing to do, ending a relationship is a loss. We go through the same phases of grief and loss when a relationship ends as we do when someone dies. Denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance are the stages. We don’t have to go through them in any particular order, and we don’t have to graduate from one before moving on to the next, never looking back. It’s quite possible to switch between two emotional states, such as melancholy and fury. Allow yourself to grieve and express your emotions without involving your ex.
3. Make a list of everything your partner has ever done that was bad.
It’s a good idea to include a list of all the reasons why this relationship isn’t in your best interests with your letter. This list should contain things she’s done to hurt you, any betrayals you’ve experienced, ways you’re incompatible, things that didn’t work in the relationship, reasons the relationship wasn’t good for you, and reminders of why you’re not together.
4. Make a self-care to-do list.
Make a list of activities that will help you relax, distract you, and calm you down. Begin with a list of 20 distinct hobbies that you enjoy. This should be a living list that you contribute to on a regular basis. Make sure that some of these activities are something you can perform at home, regardless of the weather.