It’s as if we’re afraid to ask for what we want when we give our spouse suggestions about tasks we want them to complete. Complaining is a bad manner of expressing what we want. Hinting and whining are not good means of communication. They expect the other person to be able to read minds.
We, humans, have a natural tendency to believe that our way is the best, therefore we try to force it on others. We want our partners to think and act in the same way that we do. They, on the other hand, see the world through a different lens and arrive at distinct conclusions and decisions. “The two shall become one flesh,” God declares (Matthew 19:5). He understands that having two points of view from two separate points of view brings better balance. He understands that we are stronger when we appreciate and collaborate.
Sarcasm’s objective is to provide a socially acceptable put-down so we don’t have to be honest about what we’re thinking or feeling. It’s a technique of protecting ourselves from the pain of vulnerability by communicating indirectly rather than directly.
The majority of us could need some work on our listening abilities. We may pretend to be the listener simply to continue fighting or defending our positions. This automatic reaction does not create a safe environment for open communication or help our partners feel heard. It jumps from discourse to debate far too rapidly.
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