Anger, anger, fear, and other “bad emotions” are all normal parts of life. They can all cause tension and are frequently perceived as feelings to be avoided, ignored, or otherwise shunned, yet they can also be beneficial to experience. It is preferable to handle them rather than deny them.
Managing negative emotions is embracing that we are experiencing them, recognising why we are experiencing them, and allowing ourselves to receive the messages they are sending us before letting them go and moving on.
Here’s a 4-step process that can help you embrace your negative emotions.
When you’re feeling a little off, take a few deep breaths and connect deeply to the emotion you’re feeling. Give it a name and leave it alone. If sadness is what you’re feeling, say “Hello, sadness,” and let it walk free until it’s ready to leave—emotions are transient by their very nature.
This isn’t to say that emotions can’t be painful when they’re present. Get into your body—a body scan can be quite useful—and attempt to pinpoint where in your body the emotion is strongest. Once you’ve done that, gently press your hand over the area to allow the healing power of touch to produce oxytocin, which will make you feel more relaxed.
You’ll be less driven by the fear centres of your brain and more able to connect to your wiser prefrontal cortex once you’ve exercised this unguided self-compassion. You can then ask yourself what the emotion is attempting to tell you.
Compassion for oneself leads to insight and courage. Not only are we in a better position to decide what to do next when we embrace ourselves—including the emotions we experience—but we also have a sense of bravery that comes with aligning ourselves with our beliefs.
Negative emotions are a perfectly natural, healthy, and beneficial component of the human experience. It’s critical not to fall into the “happy trap,” assuming that these feelings indicate weakness or a lack of emotional intelligence. Trying to avoid bad emotions can lead to even more emotional distress.
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