It might be tough to find the right words to comfort a friend who is going through a difficult time when you discover they are hurting. You might want to make things better, even if you can’t, whether it’s a family feud, a horrible break-up, or the death of a loved one. Even if it’s not what they want, you might try to help them by suggesting solutions to their difficulties.
Many times, we tend to give our advice when our loved ones express their sorrows or difficult situations with us. However, it is important to know that advice doesn’t always work.
It’s not as simple as it seems, because humans are wired to judge and solve issues and give advice. All a person needs at times is to know that someone is willing to listen to them- a trusted confidante. Listening without passing judgment is the most beneficial thing a person can do. When your friend is deeply hurt, the best thing to do is to remain silent and listen to your friend’s problems as they pour their heart out.
Sometimes your mere presence can mean so much to them. It can be reassuring to them. Keeping someone company while they are going through a difficult moment can be a gift in and of itself.
Rather than offering advice, empathize with the other person’s circumstance. “Tell them you’re here for them, and it’s acceptable to cry”. Sometimes a simple statement such as this can help them feel better as compared to advice.
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